MichaelYou're going to have a hard time believing this, but when we moved to California in 1996, we actually were on such a limited budget that for an entire year, we made due without a car of our own. Then, in 1997, I got a great deal from a colleague at AOL, where I worked at the time. He had a six year old Acura with 100.000 miles for sale and wanted $3,300 for it. Cosmetically, the car wasn't in great shape, as its clear coat that once had covered its black paint had been burned off by the relentless California sun, but I didn't care about looks. It only had a manual transmission, but that's what I was used to from driving in Europe anyway. And the previous owner, a Frenchman, had, apparently without thinking, bought the car with no air condition, but that didn't bother me, as I wasn't familiar with the murderous Southern California sun yet. I was young and mostly up and about in windy San Francisco, so this didn't seem like a show stopper. We shook hands on the deal on the AOL parking lot and from then on I was the prowd owner of a 1991 Acura Integra.

While growing up watching German TV, I had always been admiring the personalized license plates some people drive around with in the United States. Because of my professional focus on the programming language Perl, I searched for "PERL MAN" on California's vehicle registration site DMV and confirmed that it was indeed available. I had to pay the registration fee for my new car, plus about $30 for the personalized licence plates. I vividly remember how I picked up the plates at the DMV in Redwood City. Right there on their parking lot, I pulled out a screwdriver and mounted them in front and back. "Perly Perlman", which is how the car would be referred to from then on, was born.

There's a legendary photograph of Perly Perlman on one of our trips, barreling down an unpaved road along the Lost Coast in Northern California, while I'm stretching my head out the driver side window (Rundbrief 08/2004).

And, as you can see in Figure 3, I mounted the rear plates onto a black plastic holder with the ancient Yahoo logo, which has since become a collectible item. And there's another notable observation to be made on this picture: Perly came with two exhaust pipes, directly adjacent to each other, and since 1997, the left part has been missing its chrome ring and looking rather rusty. Guess what, back then, I was extremely cautious, and to avoid any potential costly mistakes on an investment of $3,300, before the final handshake, I went to a repair shop and had them evaluate the car. Their written report had mentioned that the exhaust pipe needed to be replaced immediately. However, fast forward to 2015, and, 18 years later, Perly's exhaust pipe still hasn't fallen off yet. And if you know me, you'll guess correctly, that I'm not going to do a damn about it. If there's one piece of advice I, as a seasoned veteran would like to pass on to future generations, it's this: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Remember that, kids!

However, there's significant risks involved in driving a 24 year old car. For instance, it doesn't have airbags (those didn't come standard in 1991), and the vehicle could easily turn into a death trap in case of an accident. And once you've seen American soccer moms driving their monster minivans for miles without looking up, because they're busy texting on their mobile phones, you'll realize this is a real safety hazard. Or, while driving a car without anti-lock brakes, have you ever tried to avoid rear-ending the vehicle in front of you on a wet road whose driver just slammed on their anti-lock brakes for no apparent reason? Not many people can handle that.

Recently, I've received a letter from California's "Vehicle Buyback Program" in the mail (Figure 4), which offered owners of cars built before 1994 the astounding amount of \$1,000 if they volunteered to take the car off the road by bringing it to an approved dismantler. As you can verify on the Vehicle Buyback Program Website, there's a few conditions for the car to qualify. For example, it must still pass the bi-yearly smog test required in California, otherwise the car's not really in driveable condition and the owner couldn't use it anyway.

For quite some time now, Perly Perlman's smog tests have always been a close call. The printed report in Figure 5 documents that hydrocarbon emissions of cars in California average 39 ppm, with an allowed maximum of 87 ppm at 15 miles per hour. Perly had exactly 87 ppm, one hydrocarbon molecule more and it would have flunked the test! Other measurement points during the smog test are carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, and nitrogen emissions. Because of Perly's somewhat advanced age, for the last couple of years, the DMV had mandated the tests to be performed at a "Star" station. These specialized smog testers only perform the tests and offer no other services, like repairing cars, so there's no conflict of interest. By the way, smog stations also perform other tests, like if the gas tank cap is sitting on tight and provides a good seal. If it's leaking air, the car won't pass the test, but the smog station usually has a new gas tank cap for sale at $10 a piece, to fix the problem right here and now.

But there's a few more requirements for the car to be met before the government-sponsored dismantling can take place: According to the "Vehicle Buyback Program" website, the windshield needs to be still in place, and at least one of the side windows. Further required are the engine hood, a driver's seat and at least one headlight. The engine needs to start without the driver having to apply magic fluids in the engine compartment, and the car must be able to move at least 25 feet forward and 25 feet backward without manual interaction. Check, check, and check! In the next issue, I'll be reporting live from the scrap press!

Greetings from the country without biyearly car inspections:

Angelika & Michael

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• More topics you might be interested in:

  	Now legalized: Air-drying laundry
  	Top Product: The Tile Key Finder
  	Will San Francisco limit Airbnb?
  	Election Campaigns: Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders
  	Laws for Assisted Suicide in California
  	Hiking near the City
  	Royal Nuts: Hawaiian Host
  	Earthquake Proof Buildings