Michael And here is the sensation! The two intrepid newsletter reporters have boarded a plane, got off the same eleven hours later, and suddenly found themselves in a parallel universe called "Munich"! While Angelika makes this trip almost every year, I actually hadn't been to Germany for a full four years. I tell you, it was a culture shock of the highest order.

The first thing I noticed were the green and white police cars. I felt like I was in a TV movie from the 60s or 70s, like "Monaco Franze" or "Münchner G'schichten." On the drive from Munich Airport to rural Augsburg ourskirts, I couldn't stop laughing at the most ridiculous things: signs with the word "Fremdenzimmer" (guest rooms), for example. Or the fact that traffic lights are generally positioned on the part of the intersection where you come to a halt, so if you're the first at the red light, you practically have to twist your neck to see if it finally changes. The pedestrian lights with little figures instead of the "Walk" and "Don't Walk" signs! You're probably thinking I'm completely crazy, but after four years, you really reprogram your brain quite a bit.

Just like "Wait to be seated" has become ingrained in me. At the restaurant "Die Ecke" in Augsburg, I stood at the entrance, waiting until the staff would assign me a seat, but fortunately, Angelika quickly pointed out to me that in Germany, even in fine establishments, you seat yourself at a random table.

If Rudi opens a pub, it's called Rudi's Pub. The pet food store is called Kira's Pet World. Aaahhh! That's a genitive "s" and is added without an apostrophe in proper German! So: Rudis Kneipe. Kiras Futterwelt. But Max Goldt once wrote that one shouldn't nitpick about other people's spelling, as that would be arrogant, and I don't certainly don't want to be that guy.

You are probably wondering if I had any difficulties with the language. Actually, there was one incident. On the Lufthansa flight from San Francisco to Munich, the German stewardess asked me if I wanted another beer. Since I had been speaking English with my seat neighbor until then, I wanted to say "No thanks, I'm fine!" but translated it too hastily and cheerfully exclaimed, "Danke, mir geht's gut!" ("Thanks, I'm doing well!") -- to which the stewardess burst out laughing and exclaimed, "That's nice to hear!" because I had already had a beer and was a bit tipsy! Oh yes, it was nice.

The weather was amazing -- after initially dumping 20cm of snow, which then melted and was followed by rain, we finally had three days of fantastic Föhn (warm alpine wind) weather. In Munich, we sat outside for an hour at a cafe in the pedestrian zone, squinting into the sun!

And how good is the beer there! Augustiner, Andechser, and the Kellerbier from the Unionsbräu in Munich -- oh my, that was delicious! I had completely forgotten, had thought that American microbrews were comparable. In short: They are not. Not even close. The brewers here in the USA still have a lot to learn!

The famous German bread didn't really impress me, as heavy bread isn't really my thing, and I've always preferred white bread. And in San Francisco, there are excellent bakeries that bake my favorite bread, the Italian "Ciabatta," super crispy and even sell it in our supermarket!

I had completely forgotten how densely populated the residential areas in Munich are! In America, everyone lives in bungalows; there are no five-story apartment buildings made of stone anywhere. And in San Francisco, I've gotten used to individual styles -- one person paints their house purple, another hangs out a rainbow flag, and a third has a funny sign in the window, whereas Munic is rather drab. However, I remembered Germany as being much cleaner as I found it to be on this trip. I always chuckle to myself in San Francisco when old newspaper scraps are blowing through the streets and constantly tell my colleagues that in Germany you could eat off the ground, because the streets are swept so thoroughly -- and what do I find? Everything is totally neglected! Potholes in the Middle Ring in Munich! Soon, newspaper scraps will be blowing through the alleys in Laim too, and I'll laugh and shout: "I know this already, I don't need it, I already saw it back in San Francisco!".

The most difficult thing was, of course, the BSE. I had already dreamed of Weißwurst and Leberkäs, and then I couldn't eat any of it! Well, at Max's place he served were excellent turkey white sausages that tasted like the real thing. Even McDonald's now has a pork burger called the "McFarmer." On the Lufthansa flight, we were offered "beef from Argentina." In Munich, I ate roast pork with dumplings twice because of this, once at Unionsbräu and once at Forsthaus Wörnbrunn. By the way, I wanted to add that my hairdresser Paolo from Friedenheimer Straße in Munich, whom I naturally visited, knows the chef from "Forsthaus Wörnbrunn," Andi Geitel, because he used to play soccer with him! So the circle closes.

The strong dollar "goes a long way" in Germany. When you compare food prices at German restaurants, you end up paying almost half as much. And CDs are really cheap, too! On sale, they cost 20 Marks, while in the USA, you can't find anything for less than $12.99. I stocked up generously on "Haindling," "Eros Ramazzotti," "Modern Talking," "Dschingis Khan," "Falco," and compilations of traditional music to give my colleagues at work something to smile about. Lev, a Russian at Netscape, had previously told me that he was really into the 70s hit "Moskau" by Dschingis Khan: When I handed him the CD, he was almost beside himself with joy!

But the gasoline! My jaw dropped when I had to shell out 80 Marks for a full tank. That would have only cost 20 dollars in America. I also noticed many small cars like the "Smart" on German roads -- something I haven't seen in America yet.

Driving skills! I was absolutely amazed at the high level at which Germans drive. No one changes lanes on the highway without looking or signaling, no one suddenly stops in the middle of the street for inexplicable reasons, and no one makes any major mistakes. According to cautious estimates by the newsletter editorial team, about 20% of Americans would never pass a German driving test, even after approximately 1,200 hours of tutoring. How smoothly traffic flows on German roads! Americans, on the other hand, lives by the principle: "Oops, here I come!" And if they're hitting the brake for no reason, they don't care at all if someone behind them has to hit their brake as well and stop because of it.

In our neighborhood in San Francisco, there are already signs everywhere that make double parking punishable by a $100 fine -- but people still do it. This is, by the way, a general American phenomenon that also applies in other social situations: Even in the longest lines at the supermarket, Americans still take their sweet time to leisurely dig out their stupid credit card from their wallet or laboriously write a check for a $5 bill. Or casually order dessert in a restaurant while crowds of people are waiting at the door.

Cigarette vending machines! In America, anyone who wants to buy cigarettes anywhere must show an ID and prove they are at least 18/21 years old (depending on the state). In Germany, anyone who is tall enough to insert 6 marks can operate the vending machine!

What I found really pleasant was how polite the sales staff in Germany suddenly have become. I remembered that quite differently. From the small bakery to the cashiers in the big department stores -- people are now exceptionally friendly. Or service in restaurants! Until now, I had always complained about the "service wasteland" of Germany in newsletters, but now I take it all back and claim the opposite. Respect, respect!

Shopping in Munich is even more fun when you live in the USA, because you don't have to pay Germany's value-added tax (VAT). The easiest way to do this is as follows: First, you pay the full price including VAT in the store and receive a confirmation called "Tax Free" for the purchase price. Before your flight back to the States, you go to the customs office at the airport, present proof that you reside in the USA, and then receive about 12% back in cash (not the full 16%, as the rest is a processing fee). If you return to Germany within a year, or know someone who can visit the store, you can opt for an "Export Certificate" from the store instead of the "Tax Free" process. You present the certificate at the airport customs before departure, have it stamped, and then you can collect the full 16% in cash at the store within a year. In both cases, you must present a departure ticket and the goods at the airport. So, it's not a good idea to check it into your luggage beforehand, as then you won't get reimbursed.

Since the line at this particular customs office is quite long and only a single officer is handling the processing, with only one person allowed in the office at a time, and people often having to unpack their goods from their suitcases, you need plenty of time before your flight departs. There are two lines: one in front of the cashier and one in front of the processing office. Due to the lack of a sign, you naturally first join the shorter line, only to find out at the cashier that you need to go to the office first, and then you grudgingly move over to the longer line. Oh well! The customs office is not eager to give back the 16%, so they make it as difficult as possible. It's only worth your time for larger amounts.

These phone card phones everywhere! Luckily, I actually had a phone card with me. However, what puzzled me was how to make a call from a phone booth without money or a card. Why can't you call a 0130 number from a phone booth, where the recipient covers the cost anyway? Maybe someone can enlighten me. In America, you can call free 1-800 numbers from any public phone booth, use "Call Collect," or call the police at 911--no change or card needed.

Clearance sale! That's an everyday occurrence in America. US stores practically have a "Sale" sign with in the window all year around. There isn't an official clearance sale; rather, it runs all year long. Or those boards with the current special offers written in chalk. That seems to be a German specialty.

As far as my impressions as a stranger in my own country go -- in short: I really enjoyed it, and above all, Angelika and I were thrilled to meet you all, dear newsletter readers! It was truly an exciting time for us, and you enriched it so pleasantly. See you in four years! Make way for Angelika!

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• More topics you might be interested in:

  	Guided Tour Through Chinatown
  	Newsletter Top Product
  	Movies and Movie Stars in San Francisco
  	Wine of the Month
  	Photo of the Month
  	Berlin