08/08/1999   English German
  Edition # 16  
San Francisco, 08-08-1999

The Bike Nazi

Michael I also enjoy biking and taking the train to the Netscape office in Mountain View, as it allows me to read all the computer magazines and books that pile up at home. And that's one hour each way! Plus, there's always something to laugh about on the train ride.

As I've mentioned before, each train can carry 24 bicycles, and the conductors usually make sure that no more than that get on. At each stop, conductors rush to the so-called bike car and stand at its door to turn away any cyclists trying to board, if the car is already full. Some conductors, who are the favorites of the cyclists and celebrated like heroes, avoid confrontation and simply never show up in the bike car when the train stops.

As a result, new cyclists board at every station--I once experienced a situation where there were 35 bicycles inside, and you could hardly breathe, but whenever that happens, there's a great atmosphere in the bike car. The cyclists in San Francisco and Silicon Valley are an oppressed minority, and a nice sense of camaraderie develops. Stories are shared about who had the most spectacular accidents and how clueless car drivers are.

However, one conductor, who is called the "Bike Nazi" by the cyclists, is particularly strict and insists that everyone places their bicycle in the exact spot he assigns. The Bike Nazi bases this on some obscure calculations, claiming it's more efficient if the person getting off first has their bike at the front. I always chuckle to myself and say nothing, but recently, a passenger lost his temper and angrily insulted the Bike Nazi: He, the conductor, was the only one enforcing this "nonsense," and the passenger threatened file a complaint, predicting that the conductor would soon receive his "pink slip" (termination letter). I had to smile as I continued reading my book.

In San Francisco, there are also specific routes for cyclists that allow you to get from A to B without having to cross any of the exhausting hills. These routes are given funny names known only to cyclists and are passed down orally from biker to biker. The Duboce-Shuffle, for example, is a clever route from Market Street to Golden Gate Park -- without much car traffic and almost no hills. Or the "John Benton Overpath," from the train station at 22nd Street to Noe Valley, where we live. The route was devised by a gentleman named John Benton, a Caltrain biker, whom I have the honor of knowing personally. Yep, that's me, "Man of the people, friend to the stars!"

So, we have reached the end, and the lady photographer has promised to provide something in writing next time as well. Remember, there's something to win this time too: Which image, apart from the first printed one, has been digitally altered and is therefore a blatant forgery? The first correct email and the first letter received through regular mail will win the exclusive prize: A hand-developed original (hand-signed upon request) by the artist, in the format 25cm x 20cm. It will turn any student dorm into an intellectual loft.

See you soon!

Michael and Angelika

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