Internet Connection in the Space Age
Michael In the internet age, there is, of course, no resting or hesitating -- you always have to stay one step ahead of the competition. And from Europe (specifically from a gentleman in Switzerland), I heard some mild mockery regarding my internet connection. Because I was still using a regular modem, while nowadays (greetings to Oldenburg: even ISDN is Stone Age technology!) people have either cable modems or DSL. "Enough!" I shouted and called our telephone company "Pacific Bell."
After being on hold for 20 minutes, a friendly lady took my order for DSL. However, when I mentioned that I wanted the internet connection not on Windows 98 but on the mega-trendy operating system Linux, she got a bit flustered and consulted a specialist, who confirmed that it was no problem. It should be noted that Linux is currently being discussed as a real (and free!) alternative to Microsoft products like Windows 95 or 98 or whatever. Not a day goes by without it appearing in the newspaper or on the TV news. The phenomenon: This thing was developed by people on the internet in their free time and made available to the public for free -- it still has its rough edges, but this model of software development, where people sit down in their free time and contribute to the "community" (the internet community), is making its way into the press. By the way, the author of these lines has been using Linux for about 8 years and develops things in his free time, which he gives to the "community" without charging money. But enough hype!
In any case, Linux is still not as well-known as Windows -- but the lady from Pac Bell said it was fine. In 14 days, someone would come by, and I could choose whether I wanted to wait for the technician in the morning (8-12) or in the afternoon (12-5). It should be noted that "Pac Bell" here in California has about the same ring as saying "Siemens" in Germany. Oops, I meant to say "Deutsche Bundespost." But I heard that they were privatized too. Anyway, you know what I mean. A week later, on a Friday, I was suddenly told that someone would come by on Monday. I was allowed to work from home on Monday and could wait for the service person. He came at 2 PM and had heard of "Linux" but said he lacked the experience to install DSL on it. Fine, I said, then let's do it on Windows, which I run as a second operating system on my machine. That went smoothly -- almost, because he injured his finger while cutting a cable, but luckily I had band-aids and disinfectant at home, and he was treated on the spot. I got a modem that looks like a warp generator from the Starship Enterprise, and through the regular phone line, both a data signal for the computer and normal phone traffic come through -- in short: you can make phone calls while the computer is online.
Since we have a second phone line, now even two people can make calls simultaneously while one browses the internet! And you surf the internet about 50 times faster than with a modem. It's really impressive: you click somewhere and -- bam! -- the page is there. This is, of course, also because the most important parts of the internet are located here in California, and, for example, Yahoo is just a few miles around the corner. Oh yes: with the help of the internet, I was able to set it up on Linux as well, no problem. Naturally, because people on the internet helped me. For free. If there is a society of the 21st century anywhere, it's here. In cyberspace. By the way, this newsletter is being created on Linux. And so are all my magazine articles and books. Back to the DSL connection: I had to sign a one-year contract, costing $49 a month. Well, I can deduct it from my taxes. Not from regular income tax, since the concept of work-related expenses is foreign to Americans, but because of my writing activities, whose modest earnings I also have to pay taxes on here in the USA, but that's just an aside.
A few days later, I was happily surfing the internet at top speed, when I heard a radio advertisement from Pacific Bell during my drive from Mountain View to San Francisco: As a special offer, DSL was now available for only $39 a month (that's $10 less!) if ordered by April 30th. Furious, I called Pacific Bell the next day, after all, this is America. "This is America!" is the phrase used to make it clear that things are possible here that would only cause raised eyebrows in Germany: "Have it your way" is one of these principles. In a restaurant, the menu is seen as merely a well-intentioned suggestion, and you order according to your preferences: "I would like the steak, but instead of mashed potatoes, I'd prefer French fries, and for the salad, just tomatoes on a separate plate, blue cheese dressing, and also some rye bread." In the Suppenküche, the German restaurant in San Francisco, I once saw an American who ordered dumplings on a separate plate with some sausage dish because he had tried them somewhere before. Imagine this scene in the Schwabinger Weißbierhaus in Munich -- the waiter would be dancing the tango. "This is America" also means that you can return anything and everything with the flimsiest of excuses. You say, "My wife doesn't like the new VCR," and it is promptly taken back without question, and the purchase price is refunded. And "This is America" also means that I called Pacific Bell the next day and said that I didn't see why I should have to pay $49 while all new customers were paying $39 -- and presto, the lady on the phone said she would immediately change my contract to $39. Well, we all got lucky there.
