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| Angelika/Mike Schilli |
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Michael After I was able to report some time ago about the most expensive toilet in America in our neighborhood Noe Valley (Rundbrief 10/2024), I continue in this issue with the most absurd bike path on planet earth. I need to first explain that "Valencia Street" runs through our neighboring district "Mission." Until a few years ago, it was a four-lane road with bike lanes marked on both sides.
The city planners from the SFMTA (San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency), in collaboration with local cycling groups, thought to themselves: "Today, we're going all out! We're eliminating two of the four car lanes, and all parking spaces, and will be building a fifteen feet-wide luxury bike lane in the middle of the street! That will teach those silly drivers a lesson they'll never forget, ha ha!" And since our tax coffers are brimming with funds for insane projects, a gigantic road construction site was quickly set up, and the project slowly began to take shape.
After the initial excitement about the new luxurious "Center Bike Lane," disillusionment soon set in. How does a cyclist make a right turn into a side street when there are still cars driving to the right of the bike lane? New confusing traffic light sequences were devised, and drivers were prohibited from making left turns along the entire route. Oh, and if only one lane per direction is open for cars, how does a fire truck on a call get past the cars stuck in traffic? No problem, the fire truck just drives on the bike lane in the center! Once, I was riding my bike there, and one of those typical giant San Francisco fire trucks (illustration 5) came towards me with flashing lights on the bike lane. I almost fell off my bike in shock.
And the bars and shops along Valencia Street also filed complaints. Allegedly, there were far fewer customers, probably because of the eliminated parking spaces. Personally, I appreciated the luxury bike lane in the middle, but when turning, I always had to be as cautious as a hawk to avoid being run over by a car. Additionally, some car and scooter drivers made left turns despite the ban, leading to some accidents with injured cyclists. And, of course, the bicycle highway attracted all sorts of riffraff, electrified aggressive cyclists, and even the so-called "dirt bikers" who are unfortunately common in the area, racing around illegally on off-road motorcycles without license plates.
To cut a long story short, after a while, city officials decided to terminate the "pilot project," as they now called it, and again turned the street back into a permanent construction site to reinstall regular bike lanes on both sides of the road. However, since every 100 feet there now is a so-called parklet from some pub, covered wooden structures with tables and chairs for outdoor dining, cyclists now have to constantly zigzag, as the bike path winds in a completely crazy way around the little huts.
In the end, the old bike path now runs along the edge of the road again, albeit with huge cracks in the asphalt and massive potholes. For cars, the street still offers only one lane per direction, but a few parking spaces have returned, and generous striped no-go zones adorn the rest. The millions wasted on the pointless construction project won't come back, though, but at least the city has gained some experience. After all, it was all free money!
Greetings from Crazytown!
Angelika und Michael
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