Angelika It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and our Christmas newsletter is due. Since this year brought us our Green Card and we are often asked how long we plan on staying in America, we are taking this opportunity to reflect after six years. Michael and I have put together a list of pros and cons, which will hopefully bring a smile or two to your faces. Broad generalizations are fully intended. Of course, we won't reveal who wrote what--you'll have to do a bit of guessing yourselves. In any case, we wish you a merry and peaceful Christmas and hope to hear from many of you in 2003. And yes, we will be staying here a little longer, as we must make the most of our Green Card after all the challenges we faced to obtain it.

The best regards to all of you -- until next year!

Angelika und Michael

Angelika/Michael

1. Americans do not shy away from electing actors and cowboys as presidents of their country.

2. The unregulated teeth alone reveal that we're Europeans.

3. You no longer know your height or how warm it is outside. Inches? Feet? Fahrenheit? What?

4. Even after six years, there are still words missing from the vocabulary that every child here knows.

5. There are no cozy cafes. Worse still: People drink "to go" coffee from paper cups with a plastic lid that has a small opening. Like a sippy cup.

6. Cycling is as dangerous as hang gliding.

7. In the land of peanut butter, there are no peanut puffs to buy.

8. Dialing customer service on the phone, you can only reach clueless representatives

9. While riding public transportation, one must expect that someone might suddenly start cutting and filing their fingernails.

10. Americans can't drive

11. People asks us questions like: "Are hearts already being transplanted in Germany?

12. American women meticulously shave the hair on their legs and underarms. Those who don't participate in this are considered unrefined.

13. The uniformity of most American cities: shopping malls, highways, and typical single-family homes with double garages.

14. At the doctor's, before an examination that involves showing bare skin, you have to squeeze into a gross plastic-paper hospital gown.

15. On highways, the speed limit is 100 km/h.

16. One wastes hours on the phone with their health insurance company.

17. Welfare state - never heard of it.

18. At eight in the evening, a salesperson calls unexpectedly at home and tries to sell you a new credit card.

19. You have to answer 5 questions to order breakfast.

20. Before seeing the doctor, the receptionist asks for signatures on forms so that the doctor cannot be sued for every little thing.

21. Americans believe that it is okay to use questionable methods to save the world.

22. Almost no one works less than 40 hours a week or has more than two weeks of vacation per year. Once or twice a year, the company lays off a portion of its employees. Those affected are sometimes escorted out of the building on the same day.

23. When it storms and rains, the power in a neighborhood may go out for a few hours.

24. Every other person is driving a huge show-off car called an SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle) that guzzles 20 liters of gasoline on 100km, takes up two parking spaces, and blocks everyone's view.

25. Anyone who blows their nose at the table will receive bewildered looks.

26. The American packaging craze.

27. Filling out the American tax return.

28. Many Americans believe they're alone on this planet: Or how else do you explain that it is normal to double park, shout into one's phone, or block the sidewalk because one simply must pet the cute puppy?

28. Public toilet doors are so high off the floor that anyone passing by can see you.

30. Nothing can be relied upon. Appointments - even with friends - need to be confirmed shortly before the date.

Angelika|Michael

1. It's easy living here as a foreigner in a town with more than 50% foreigners.

2. Complete strangers spontaneously give compliments about the pretty earrings, the colorful T-shirt, the stylish haircut...

3. Finally, one understands the lyrics of popular pop songs correctly the first time. Usually a bitter disappointment.

4. The ocean is right at our doorstep.

5. Long day at the office? No problem, the supermarket around the corner is open until midnight and has everything you need for a homemade culinary dinner. If it gets later, there's one five minutes away by car that's open all night.

6. Speaking a foreign language fluently elicits storms of enthusiasm and deep admiration among Americans.

7. Managers in the company are immediately fired if they turn out incompetent.

8. At the post office, the bank, the airport counter, and government offices, there's only one line for all counters: no more standing in the line that moves the slowest!

9. Menus at restaurants are well-intentioned suggestions, not mandatory requirements.

10. The invention of the Ziplock bag: Freezer bags that can be resealed infinitely.

11. If a screw or a specific tool is missing during DIY projects, you can buy both at four in the morning at the "Home Depot" hardware store.

12. If you change your career multiple times, you are not considered a failure but rather flexible and innovative.

13. One can join the conversation when discussing culinary delights such as "Pho," "Chai Latte," "Hamachi," "Guacamole," "India Pale Ale," or "Sake."

14. One becomes a master of "small talk" because everyone talks to you: the cashier at the supermarket, the clerk at the post office, people riding with you in the elevator.

15. The unbroken optimism of the Americans: Everything is possible, everything goes.

16. The German accent of fairly decent English speakers, such as Campino from Die Toten Hosen, becomes apparent.

17. You can be ironing laundry during TV shows and still catch everything.

18. When paying by debit card at the supermarket, you can get cash back and replenish your wallet as you would at an ATM.

19. As an exotic, it's less silly to be German.

20. In the supermarket, you don't have to pack your purchased goods into bags yourself.