05/19/2020   English German

  Edition # 134  
San Francisco, 05-19-2020


Figure [1]: The Flowbee accurately trims the longer hair on the top of the head to the same length.

Michael It will probably be a while before our strict governor lets us go to the hairdresser again, but our hair is unimpressed by this and continues to grow like crazy. My last visit to the hairdresser was over three months ago, and I usually go to my regular barber once a month, so quick action was needed. I inquired at work about solutions, and the jokers there recommended the so-called "Flowbee," a system from the last century that every middle-aged American probably knows from the TV commercials of their youth.

Figure [2]: The Flowbee device. Not exactly cheap, but a classic.

It is a cutting device at the end of a long hose that you connect to a vacuum cleaner. The vacuum cleaner sucks on the hair through the hose, and the cutting mechanism trims the ends all to the same length. The exorbitant price of $145 only deterred me briefly, but then I thought to myself, I absolutely have to include this in the newsletter, and clicked the "Buy" button. At the same time, I ordered a professional hair clipper, the "Wahl Pilot Clipper #8483," and after watching some YouTube videos, I was confident that I could trim my hair neatly.

Figure [3]: Michael trims the sides with a professional hair clipper.

First, I trimmed the sides with the trimmer as described in the YouTube videos, but I had trouble coordinating the movements of a pair of scissors in the mirror when it came to the top hair on the crown, which needs to be left longer; otherwise, it looks impossible and like a mullet. Quickly, I grabbed the Flowbee, selected an attachment about 2.5 cm long, turned on the vacuum cleaner and the Flowbee cutting device, and tapped it all over the top of my head. In no time, the Flowbee sucked in the hair with each contact and cut it precisely to the same length. It was so effortless, I barely noticed that anything was being cut at all. There's no mess either, because the vacuum cleaner immediately sucks up all the cut hair. Top product!

Figure [4]: The 1992 movie "Wayne's World" featured a Flowbee clone.

Newsletter reader Conny has pointed out to us, by the way, that a clone of the Flowbee device already appeared in the 1992 film Wayne's World. It appeared as a parody of the Flowbee system, which was apparently being heavily advertised on American television at the time. In a funny scene, Garth gets an obviously painful haircut from an industry representative. However, the real Flowbee is actually very gentle; as mentioned, you don't even notice that anything is happening, but afterward, the hair is definitely shorter than before and all exactly the same length.

Figure [5]: No difference in Michael's cowlick hairstyle between Flowbee and professional barber haircut.

The result, after about half an hour of work with both devices, is quite impressive, I think (see Figure 5). When I come home from the hairdresser, I look somewhat similar, as my hair tends to be a bit unruly. Following this initial success, I also trimmed Angelika's short haircut with the trimmer and even gave her the professional coloring she had ordered from her regular hairdresser via contactless delivery. Although it was a tough job that took over an hour, the result was really satisfactory (see Figure 6). Conclusion: Professional service workers also put their pants on one leg at a time. With some practice, amateurs can achieve similar results.

Figure [6]: Angelika got a haircut with coloring from the house hairdresser.
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